Falling and Breaking

I look around me and I see all the wonderful things God has provided for me. One of the best interships around, an amazing, affordable apartment, a wonderful supportive family, great new friends as well as old ones who want to see me succeed, and here I am taking it all for granted. It's like I am throwing an F You at God and His gifts by saying I dont care. I just dont give a damn what so ever today or yesterday. But I want to care. I want to feel that relationship. I want to feel that bond with the Lord again. I want His joy flowing through my veins and His happiness to more than enough and for Him to be everything that I need. My heart is so dicontented right now and I dont know why. Do I need to move 1000 miles away from everyone and everything that I know to find myself in God and to be strong in Him. I mean come on, why do I fall foolishly into these little traps that Satan sets for me, knowing that things are not going to end in the most Godly way? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why is my heart so discontent Lord? I call to you and ask you to send me a sign. Send me an answer Lord to this struggle. WHy can't I be satisfied in you alone? I know that you alone are God and you are great and everything I need. I know that. I know it in my heart and in my head, but why O God can I not live it out? Why am I still selfish and discontent? Why do I long for something more when all I need is You? Lord I ask you to search me, search the depths of my soul and bring to light what is good and what I need to strip away. What needs to go in my life so that I can focus on you and your will alone. Help me O God. Search me and know my ways and anxious thoughts. Purify this unclean soul that has betrayed you again. Make me whole and yours alone.