Here and Now

I am living in the here and now. The future is always ever present and coming full force at me. Things consistenly are being dropped on my shoulders. Things go wrong, they go right, they make sense, they leave me confused. People are moving in and out of my life. Some are suppose to always be there and some just never belonged. Then there is that person who loves you and gives you everything and would change time after time for you and somehow it scares me that there is someone like that for me and it makes me uneasy because I am so young and even the thought of Love, give me the heebie jeebies. In 3 weeks, I will be graduating, moving to a new city, starting a new job, competing for a National title that is going to change my life regardless of if I win or not and thinking about anything else at the moment scares me. I am so young. I haven't even lived yet. Not. even. close. So I am at a stuck point. You make me happy. You put up with a lot. You are slowly falling in love with me. But I don't know if I can reciprocate that right now. I am still trying to find me. I am still making memories. I'm not ready for you. I'll do whatever it takes to make it right. I am living in the here and now and I don't know if there is room for you.