Notice Me...

My heart is heavy. This struggle is so great right now, but it will all be over in 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks and everything that I am struggling with will be out of the way. My true question is if I want it to be out of the way. I don't understand how God can put so many special people in your life, but only for a short period of time. How am I suppose to properly love on them or impact them in 4 weeks? How is he suppose to get the hint in 4 weeks? I know that if it is meant to be then the Lord will provide a way, He will cross our paths again. I think the hardest thing to do is to lay all your wants, need, and every desire of your heart down at the foot of the cross and turn your back and walk away knowing and having to rely on every ounce of your faith to expect that God will provide and fufill every one of those things according to His will and in His perfect timing. That's a lot to give over and handle all at once. Dear Lord, here is my heavy heart. I do not and can not fathom your greatness. Have fun dealing with that stupid organ that has ridiculous emotions. Love, Amanda. That is the note that I will attach when I lay it down at His feet because in the end, I know that I am not in control. I can not be in control because if I were really in control, I would be in deep trouble. So it's terribly hard for me in this struggle because right now I am in a place where I have some pretty amazing friends that are there for me and love me unconditionally. In this place, I have something that I have never had before and I don't really have him...but, he surprises me everyday. To him, I would say Dear Boy, Here is your hint. Please notice me as more than awesome or rocking because I help you out and do what any good person should do. Notice me because you want to and because you really think I rock and that I'm awesome. Not because I help. Love, Amanda p.S. I think you are pretty awesome and amazing yourself.