Letting Go

So last night I had one of the hardest talks in my life. For the past few years, i have had this thing for this guy. We shall call him Andy. Thats not his real name and I dont really life anyone named Andy just to clarify. Well Andy adn I have known each other a long time, we have been through ups and downs together, good and bad, everything one could possibly imagine. We both have been selfish in our friendship and both of us have always seemed to want more, but never could find out what more we want. We took things from each other, we gave things back, we cried, we hurt, but most of all we laughed. Andy is someone I have always cared for and always seen as someone I could possibly marry. Someone I could be happy coming home to at night, and having my future children look like. I know that's crazy, but it's the truth. For the last few years, we have had thing on and off thing..this what are we..and where are we going..when is it my turn and last night I let go. We sat and we talked..like we have never talked before. I poured my heart out to him in every way possibly hoping that this attempt would make him realize that I was perfect for him. However, that was not the case. Instead he looked at me and said I love you, but I'm not in love with you and I don't think I'll ever be. You are going to be an amazing girlfriend and wife, but not to me. I'm sorry. SLAP. IN. THE. FACE. He was being honest, which is something I have always asked from anyone who is my friend. If you are honest, atleast it will hurt because you are telling the truth and not lying. So back to Andy, in that moment I have felt more emotion than I have in a long time. To me he seemed like that perfect guy, that one true guy, but in that moment when he told me he could never love me, reality set in. The reality and bigger picture of it is that we are not meant to be. He is my friend, he cares about me and his season in my life is coming to a close. he has taught me many things to do and to not do and he taught me about unconditional love. Regardless of the situation, whether it was bad or good, he never has stayed mad at me, but continuously loved me. Maybe not the way I wanted, but you can only ask for so much in this life. There is a great verse in 2 Samuel 11, and it says " Infatuation is like the morning dew, it will eventually disappear." Andy's dew is disappearing and I for the first time feel closure. Not on our friendship, but on the hope of there being more because in essence I know that there won't be. With this being said, I have choosen to seek after the Lord with everything because until I let go of everything that I am holding onto, I won't have anyting. I'm letting go, of the fear of never being loved, letting go of someone I wanted to love me with every part of there being, but that cant', letting go of my worldly desires and trying to seek after what is right and good and pure. I'm letting go and holding on to hope that the Lord already has Prince Charming picked out for me, and I won't have to want him to love me, He just will. It's a scary thought and on days I know I will fall short because I am human. But the grace of God is overflowing on me always and He always provides for me in the right time. As Bro. T told me today, the grace of God will always meet you where your at.